ME as seen by Damien Weighill

Ever eager to be seen to be a patron of the arts, I came across this marvellous young (well, he's younger than me) artist Damien Weighill ):

http://yourfaceblog.blogspot.com

...so I sent him a "face-pic" (I believe that is the modern vernacular) and this is what he sent me back.

I think he's captured something rather rakish about me. What do you think?

Perhaps I should get the t-shirt or the tea-towel.....
Do visit his site, he really is rather good.

http://www.damienweighill.com

Sartorial Questions - 2: The elusive Grey Homburg Hat

Q: I spent some time trudging round St James', hoping to buy a light grey Homburg, and all the shops there deny the existence of such a thing. A google search came up with your name. Have you managed to acquire one? (John, London UK)


A: Yes, I did get a dark grey homburg a couple of years ago. Here it is:

It was from America, as I recall (and a little darker grey than the picture shows) - naturally, I swiftly removed the somewhat ostentatious feathers.

You could always try somewhere like eBay for a vintage one (I think that‘s where I got mine from) , but be also aware that American hat sizes are different to UK ones, they are one size up (a UK 6 7/8s equals a US 7, and so on). These days it’s best to stick to the inches or cms measurements.

However, I would recommend: Hornets Hats of 36b Kensington Church Street, London W8 4BX [Tel: 020 7937 9192]. http://www.hornetshats.com they deal exclusively in Christy’s hats - very good hats at very reasonable prices.

Note: if you visit their site,
http://www.hornetshats.com/f_hatview.php?link=Fur%20Felts (about two-thirds down the page), you will see they have put up a photo of what looks like a bowler hat - it‘s not a mistake; it’s actually a Homburg shown “open-crown”, ready for you to bash/style for yourself.

But here you will find your Grey Homburg.

Made to order for £55 and in the following colours:
Black, Navy, Bessemer (Grey), Sable, Elm, Red Wine, Beige, Light Sable, Green mix, Grey Mix, Light Grey, Burma, Brown Mix, Cork, Peatwood and Maize. (You will find the exact colour scheme along the top strip of the page - click on a colour for a larger window).

My advice is to try and visit the Hornets Hats shop first, to check on size for fit and to look at the colour variations at close hand (if they have any available), and then order online [these are made to order anyway; besides they only have a limited selection in their shops]…. Or at the very least contact them online first to discuss your requirements [enquiries@hornetshats.com ]

When ordering online, the postage will be £7.50 extra (within the UK). While you’re at it, you might as well buy a Christy’s hat box too (it’s worth the £10).

My advice is: once you’ve received your hat, take it along to the shop and they will be happy to shape and fit it for you.












You will also find a Grey Christys Homburg being sold for £64 + postage (£5.95-£7.95) at www.tailsandtheunexpected.co.uk in Cardiff, Wales [they only sell Black and Grey Homburgs].

…and another UK source for a Christy (The Hat Company), this time for £49.95 (plus £2.95 UK postage; hat box = £9.99):
http://www.thehatcompany.com/product/homburg_or_anthony_in_fur_felt_359

In all cases, expect a minimum of two weeks from time of order to delivery.

Postscript: Since posting this blog, so taken was I by my own words, I decided I was due a belated Christmas present and have ordered a Light Grey Homburg from Hornets myself. [Perhaps next step, the purple….]

And finally, for your enjoyment, another American Homburg creation (yes, you can actually buy this):

…also available in Pink...

...and in Purple....

...and many other colours...

A Song that sums up 2009...

This track came out in 2009 from the duo Show Of Hands (Steve Knightley & Phil Beer). For me, and for many of the people I know, it sums up everything about this past year: Arrogance Ignorance And Greed (AIG).



Just buy the album, it's brilliant:

How to take on Lloyds/TSB Bank - and Win!!

I thought I’d best hold back releasing this blog until the money had cleared into my account, which it did this weekend.

People in the UK are very well aware about how we, the public, have bailed out our Banks in recent months, of how the Government instructed the banks to get the cash flowing again by more lending, and how this never happened (did we ever expect it to?).

Here’s a story that proves just how stubborn and idiotic the people in charge of our banks really are, and I wonder if our economy ever IS going to recover ever again.

About this time last year, I was planning to rent-out my parents’ house (which I now owned). It just needed a bit of work to bring it up to rentable condition. I was quoted by the agents “about £2000”. I could sort this out myself but it would be very tight for a few weeks.

So I went to my bank (Lloyds TSB - yes, the one that we, the public, now own over 44% of) and thought I’d ask for either a short-term loan or an overdraft facility for about £1,500 for just six weeks. It was a guaranteed rent with (according to the agent) clients ready to move in.

I spoke to Simon, my bank manager (a chap I’d known for over fifteen years since he started as counter staff). Simon and I have always got on well, but he said there was a problem.

“If it were up to me, Ray, and knowing what I know of you, I would have no hesitation in lending you anything up to twenty five thousand, straight away. The trouble is: we long ceased to be traditional bank managers. These days we are salesmen: do you want an insurance policy…how about house coverage….or a different type of account?…that sort of thing.

“This concept of us making informed discretionary decisions based on our local knowledge and on the conduct of the customers’ accounts was long abandoned. These days our decisions are dictated to us by computer-generated fiscal models and credit-reference agency reports which, in a good number of cases, are simply wrong! So, sorry, Ray, no-can-do.”

I even offered to put the house up as collateral but he said that way could not be justified as the cost of setting up the arrangement would probably be greater than the amount wanted in the first place. Simon was supportive, but there was nothing he was allowed to do.

I decided to write to Sir Victor Blank’s office (he was - then - Chairman of Lloyds/TSB: photo above) to outline the ludicrousness of the whole situation, bearing in mind the growing pressure the banks were under from Government to facilitate liquidity again. I will say, to his credit (albeit after seven weeks of regular pressure from me) Blank’s office came up with a way round this problem: to treat the deal as a business loan, which would mean there are different criteria for judgements, and the deal might be done.

So I was then thrown over to the Bank’s Head of Business Loans - one Mr. Tony Hopson (I did warn you, Mr. Hopson, that I would mention your name in despatches!) at the Barking branch - a branch about ten miles away [even my own bank manager had never heard of him!].

He was passed Sir Victor Blank’s letter and it was not difficult to read between the lines of how to make this arrangement happen, and Tony Hopson gave me the firm impression that this is how it would happen…after all, he opened up a new Business Account for me (even if he did want to charge me £100 for the privilege).

The account opened, the cheque book printed, the statement sent charging me £100, he then calmly announced that he could not let me have the overdraft facilities…”because you don‘t fit the standard model for loans”…..!


For some reason Mr. Hopson seemed genuinely baffled when I asked him “well why did we open this new account in the first place?” He just didn’t get it…. and I told him to take me to court if he wanted his £100. [He subsequently did nothing].

Meanwhile, I had already sorted out my finances and the house was, by now, being refurbished. But for me, this had become a matter of principle.

I went back to my friendly bank manager to recount this bizarre episode and we got chatting. In the daily Press stories were starting to appear about how Lloyds/TSB was now the most complained-about bank in the UK and that many of these complaints centred around the selling of (unwanted) Insurance Protection Cover for loans issued.

I mentioned that in 2002 I had a loan out with the bank over a few years, and that I distinctly remember being told by the (then) manager - let’s call him Sean - “if you don’t take out the policy, you won’t get the loan”. Inevitably, I capitulated, even though I never needed the policy. I felt I was miss-sold this Insurance cover, I still had the paperwork (including my handwritten notes which clearly read - and underlined - “no policy = no loan”). I also remember that soon after my taking out this loan, Sean left the bank for another career. “Well, Sean always did sail a bit close to the wind”, was my bank manager’s opinion.

And so I put in my complaint to:
Customer Care,
Lloyds TSB Insurance,
Tredegar Park,
Newport,
South Wales
NP10 8SB
(Tel: 0845 300 5599 / Fax: 01633 468835)

Filling in the (very easy) forms, I worked out that over the years of the loan I had paid a total of £883.20 for the insurance cover - and that’s how much (minimum) I was claiming for. I was also encouraged by subsequent statistics which showed that, of all the complaints against Lloyds/TSB’s “miss-selling” of Insurance Cover, 83% were found in favour of the customer.

Surprisingly quickly, within eight weeks (this was now November 2009) they got back to me and upheld my complaint, without question. They would refund me my £883.20 plus 8% interest for something this and 8% under that model. I still had no idea how much I would get.

In early December I phoned them up to enquire about my money, they told me “we are still working on October’s refunds, we are very behind in this” - but at least they assured me I would get the money “before Christmas”, but I still had no idea about how much.

Last week they sent me a letter to tell me how much I would get, and the money is in my account now……well….. let’s just say it is nicely above £1,200. And tax-free.

I believe they call this Reeee-Zult!

I went back to my original bank manager (Simon), told him the story (I felt he was always supportive of me from the start) and said to him: “Isn’t it ironic that we’ve moved from a position where your bank Could have made money out of me in the form of short-term interest rates to a position where I want money from your bank, and now I’ve got it”.

So there we are:
£1,500 - the amount of overdraft I wanted for just six weeks
£883.20 - the amount I was claiming for a ‘miss-sold’ insurance policy
£1,200+ - the amount they finally gave me back.

And That, dear reader, tells you everything you need to know about the state of the British economy today and the people in charge of our so-called economic recovery. What a pathetic farce the once-respected British banking system has become (and I am speaking as a former banker)

Bratislava Hot Serenaders - Broken Record

Time to cheer me up again. The Bratislava Hot Serenaders in concert.

Appreciate just how tight and professional this band are. Enjoy.

Broken Britain - 11: Another BT Rant

If you read my last blog about EDF Energy and thought it was a one-off, let me recount something that happened on Monday with BT (British Telecom - yes, them again; see my entries http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2008/11/bt-rantapologies-for-recent-silence.html November 26th, 2008 and http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/10/how-to-take-on-bt-and-win.html October 4th, 2009 ).

Overseas readers my not be aware but we in the UK have been hit by a series of all-out Postal Strikes, lasting about 2-3 days each time and severely disrupting our e-bay deliveries and especially our bills.

So, on the afternoon of Monday 2nd November I received a batch of mail which included two from BT: one, dated 25th October was a bill for £51.61 for line rental; the other was a, somewhat threatening, chaser letter “Your payment is late”, dated 29th October). This was a little odd considering both letters contained the words “please pay by Wednesday 4th November” - this being, after all, Monday 2nd.

I also noted that BT had failed to credit me £3 from my last bill, which they’d promised to do. So I phoned up the ‘Customer Services’ (sic) number and, after countless “if you wish to sell your Mother, Press One; if you wish to smash your head against a brick wall, Press Two….” options, I got through to someone…in a Call Centre…in Delhi (this is standard for BT).

He claimed he was aware of the postal strike but still said the bill remained outstanding.

Anyway, I decided to just bite the bullet, walk across the road to my bank, and pay the bill (in cash).

Much later that evening (the 2nd, remember) I noticed my telephone line could not dial out. There was a pre-recorded message to phone an 0800 number to discuss this Restricted Access. However, it said I could phone them “anytime between 8.am. and 8.pm”….. it was now 9.30.pm.

Next morning (Tuesday 3rd) I was phoned on my mobile, by BT, a pleasant-sounding American woman (I don’t know her location). I kept my cool and simply asked what the hell they were doing restricting my line. I mentioned my previous (successful) run-ins with BT, I mentioned OffCom, I mentioned Otelo and the ‘Alternative Disputes Resolution’ (that term always sends shivers down their spine). And then I added:

“May I draw your attention to three simple facts?:
1 - There is a postal strike in the UK, 2 - I didn’t even receive a bill until yesterday afternoon, and….er…., 3 - That bill was paid yesterday”.

There was a long, long embarrassed silence at the other end, and I enjoyed drawing out this theatrical pause.

Then I said, very calmly: “Would you like to take this opportunity to make a profound and grovelling apology to me?” She sounded sheepish and said she would restore the line.

You would think that was the end of the story. But that’s not the way BT do things here.

A few hours later (Tuesday afternoon, remember), the line was still not restored, I got a call from BT, from their Delhi Call Centre again, asking why I hadn’t paid my bill yet.

I just let rip and said “just wait for my next blog”. Their (barely comprehendible) Customer Assistant told me “it would take up to 24 hours to restore things”. How preposterous. I finally said to him: “Look, don’t bother apologising. We live in an apologist society - the more you apologise, the less meaning it has. Just fix the line, OK? - Now”.

Finally, by late Tuesday night, the line was miraculously working again.

….and it never occurred to me to query why they were treating me like this when the bill’s payment deadline was…er…Wednesday 4th.

As you can tell, dear Reader, BT are always eager to cut you off(even on such a meagre sum as £51) yet not so keen to actually deliver a decent service. [And what of all those corporate clients who have outstanding bills running into thousands of pounds? BT are not so enthusiastic to bully and throw their weight around with them, are they?

Again I say: you tell me this country isn’t broken?

Broken Britain - 10: EDF - a Rant.

This story starts about four months ago when my energy supplier, the French company EDF (or as some call it: Every Day a F***-up) told me I was due for a new electricity meter. So I made arrangement to stay indoors for half a day and they duly installed it.

Then a few weeks ago I received a rather panicky, heavy-handed irate letter (some might regard it as a threatening letter) tell me: “four months ago we installed a new meter. Our records show there has been no use on this meter since” and in not so many words telling me (in effect) ‘if you are using electricity from EDF and Not paying for it you are defrauding us and in breach of rule so-and-so…..’.

I phoned them up and said: “ well I’ve been using the electricity since installation and that meter’s been ticking over and charging me as normal”. Anyway, they insisted I was wrong and that the meter should be changed - again - so we made arrangements for Thursday afternoon, which meant I had to stay in again from 12 noon to 6pm. At least I gave them my mobile phone number for reference.

So Thursday came around…I‘ve cleared all the junk our from under the stairs so the guy from EDF can have clear access. And at 12.56pm I went briefly upstairs to the bathroom and came back down to find a message on my cellphone.

It was a man’s voice, sounding barely Neanderthal: “Diss is EDF Energy here. I’ve just tried to gain access to your place and there’s a gate and a yale lock and I ain’t gotta key. So you’ll have to rebook diss appointment”. (I couldn’t return the call as the chap left no number).

I was baffled, especially since there is clear access to my flat, just up twenty steps (yes, those steps just by the big white-painted sign on the wall in ten-inches high letters, my door number - mong!)

Then Pam, my neighbour from two doors along knocked on my door and handed me a card she’d just had pushed through her mailbox - from EDF. [She’s the one with the gate and the yale lock, even though that is a side entrance and not actually the slip road where you gain access to my place…]

So I phoned EDF to explain their engineer’s gaff. Did they care? Of course not. As far as they were concerned nothing could be done, I’d have to re-book another appointment - and that’s what they insisted I do (thereby wasting another day of my time). [For the record, this person’s job title was Customer Services Assistant - a misnomer on all three words if ever there was one].

I refused and told them to fix it today, or I was an ex-customer.

For twenty minutes this arguing went on. “Look,” I said, “I’m sitting here in front of my computer, already on the uSwitch.com site. I’ve changed suppliers before, it’s not difficult, and I shall be switching at 6.pm. this evening if no new meter is installed by then….even if it means one of your highly-paid managers getting up off their arse and into their own car and come and install it themselves.”

I then reminded them: “If it wasn’t for your company’s incompetent installing of the original new meter, we wouldn’t be needing to go through all this. So don’t try and blame me for this one……You messed it up - You fix it”.

Thirty minutes later a manager phoned me back to tell me to stay indoors.

So a couple of hours later (3.30.pm) I heard two LOUD bangs on my front door knocker….strong enough to break the door down.

…And there he was…… white, long-haired, scruffy, mid-40s. He opened his mouth and it was that same mongoloid voice from the phone message.

I decided the best thing was to just zip my lip up, say nothing, and just let him get on with changing the meter.

I did explain to him how this saga started. He replied: “well, the person who installed this original new meter probably just lost the paperwork”.

So that’s alright then - Thank You EDF Energy.

And then he left….but I was left wondering: does it Have to come to all this kicking and screaming in order to get something done anymore? This is not just a one-off anymore in this country - it’s just typical.

- And you tell me that this country isn’t broken?